Lyrics

Carnival evangelist
gin ironic lemon twist
cut a deal with God's mistress
seal it with a rusty kiss
touching greatness with a pole
chronic young and growing old
royalty in thrift store threads
Walmart beamed into our heads

buy a road map to your soul
crush your diamonds into coal
crush your diamonds into coal

Swinging by a Gucci rope
bars of chocolate bars of soap
Milton Friedman dressed to kill
marching backward down the hill
shotgun racks and tin foil sins
find a sack to put them in
ballet dancers at the track
they lost ten grand they want it back

buy a road map to your soul
crush your diamonds into coal
crush your diamonds into coal

A trumpet flower just played taps
Ronald Reagan jumping jacks
one more time into the breach
John Wayne in a paisley jeep
pin the donkey to your chest
fold the burlap wedding dress
cross your heart and hope to fly
lasers shoot from Glenn Beck's eyes
buy a road map to your soul
crush your diamonds into coal
crush your diamonds into coal

Lipstick beer and cigarettes
we're cashing stolen welfare checks
Babe Ruth is standing on third base
giant wasps attack his face
circus clowns in holy mist
Bozo The Evangelist
how do we get out of this?
someone cross me of the list
someone cross me of the list
someone cross me of the list

buy a road map to your soul
crush your diamonds into coal
crush your diamonds into coal